Between Mind and Heart
by WitheringSage
Summary: Raja wants to find Anna to talk to her about the woman's treatment of chickens.


**Between Mind and Heart**

_It is well for the heart to be naive  
and the mind not to be.  
-Anatole France_

Chronology: Tristan is 19. Raja is 9.

Dimly, Arthur heard pitched sounds in the hall. It had woken him up, and the lady beside him.

"What is that, Arthur?" she asked groggily.

He mumbled and threw the covers back. Slipping on his breeches – never one to prance around naked – he stumbled to the door as the sounds grew louder.

Around the corner of the hall, Raja was chasing after Beauty the Chicken.

"Beauty!" she called out. The rogue chicken had escaped from her room. Her hand-basket flapped in her hand. Just as she rounded the corner, the door to Arthur's room opened. Raja heard his deep yelp of surprise, then a lady's scream.

She bolted into the room, calling the chicken's name again. Beauty squawked and flapped her wings around spastically. She made a racket, flying a few feet off the ground, and then back down all over. The woman wrapped the sheet around her, pressed against the wall as she cowered on the bed. The suddenness of the intrusion had increased her discomfiture.

The little Egyptian chased Beauty around the room. She scrambled under the table, then ran after her across the room. The lady's sounds of fright only exacerbated Beauty's panic. She had stepped into a room of chaos – even though she was the one that caused it.

The other knights had heard the racket and came running to the room, weapons in hand. What they saw was nothing like what they had expected. They saw Raja chasing a chicken around the room, an overturned hand-basket flew out of her hands. Arthur was dodging the small girl's chase, also hoping the hen wouldn't start pecking at his feet.

"Raja!" he called.

"I got her," she called, "just hold on," she told him, lunging under the table again.

Beauty then flapped her way on the large bed, causing the lady to stand up, pressing herself against the wall as close as she could, her feet caught up in the pillows.

"I got her!" Raja said triumphantly. She sat at the end of the bed, her feet not able to touch the ground. She held Beauty as she would an upset puppy. Raja kept her wings from flapping around, stroking the hen's head, murmuring soothing words. "There we go," she said. "You just calm down, now."

Raja only looked up when Dagonet addressed her.

"What is this, Raja?" he asked, utterly at a loss.

Next to him, Tristan cocked an eyebrow, smirking.

"And this is my cousin," Lancelot muttered under his breath, eyes rolling up in bewilderment.

"I opened the door," Raja explained. "I told her to go down the hall and to the right, and she went left."

Lancelot snorted.

"You all are scaring her," Raja admonished, looking at their weapons. "What's wrong with you? Put them away." But she turned to Arthur and the lady and apologized.

"Quite all right," the woman said in a hushed, nervous tone. She was a prostitute, and not modest about being wrapped in only a sheet amongst men, it was just the chicken that had her trepid.

"Well," – Bors cleared his throat – "I guess I'm back to bed. I think I still have a good hour yet before I have to wake up." He trudged off, shaking his head, chuckling as he went.

For a moment, Lancelot smiled at the woman behind Arthur. "Hello, Sonya." Even an hour after dawn he could still put on the charm.

"Hello, Lancelot," she smiled.

Arthur rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. His curly hair was standing on end.

Raja looked back and forth between them, her turn to be confused. She got off the bed and picked up the basket, placing a mollified Beauty in it.

A deep abruption of air sounded, which Raja knew was only the sound of her uncle. She smiled sheepishly. "Beauty got out."

Ardeth's dark eyes surveyed the room in bemusement. "I apologize for the intrusion, Arthur," he said, "and..."

"Sonya," Lancelot informed.

"My apologies to you as well, Sonya," he said, bowing his head slightly.

"Of course," Sonya said, eyeing the dark man with the glossy, shoulder length black hair; impeccably groomed, his black garb that seemed impervious to any fleck of dirt.

Lancelot hid his laugh as Sonya caressed Ardeth with her eyes. After a year at Hadrian's Wall, he could not help but wonder if Ardeth had taken any woman. Other than Tristan, the Egyptian was the most anonymous man he knew.

"Before you make me leave," she said to both Ardeth and Arthur, "I have to ask Sonya a question."

"Oh?" she perked up, stepping out from behind Arthur. She grinned nicely at the girl, taking a liking to her despite her odd taste in pets.

Raja seemed pleased and surprised that Sonya was being so nice to her. "Yes. Do you know a woman named Anna?"

At the memory of the conversation containing the word "cocksucker" Lancelot snorted, but when Ardeth turned and glared at him, he disguised his laugh as a cough. Anna was the woman Raja had heard being called cocksucker.

"Anna?" Sonya titled her head to side. "An unpleasant woman."

Arthur said something quietly to Sonya. Most likely warning her not to give out too much information.

"I wanted to talk to her," Raja said, ignoring her uncle's calls, "I've heard some pretty awful things about her." Then she turned to her uncle and everyone, taking in a deep breath about to tell them something she had forgotten. "A couple of days ago, I heard more of the kitchen ladies saying that Anna choked a chicken!"

Lancelot couldn't hold in his laughter anymore.

"Get out of here," Dagonet hissed.

"And she also sucks-"

"Raja," her uncle said sternly.

"I wasn't going to say the word!" Raja protested. "I was going to say chickens."

Sonya looked at Arthur speculatively. His jade eyes set on hers, trying to convey that the little girl didn't quite understand the meaning. "Oh!" Sonya smiled, she the girl's naïveté was cute.

"Raja, no more talk of this_,"_ Ardeth said shortly. "_Taa'la maei_." _Brother Osiris, what am I to do?_

"Wait!" Raja dug her heels into the floor, more obstinate than she had ever been with her uncle. "I just want to know who she is!" Beauty clucked at Raja's raised voice.

"_Baedien_, Raja," Ardeth lectured. Then he spoke in Arabic. Whatever words he spoke in his native tongue always seemed to make Raja stop in her tracks and obey.

"_Na am fahamt,"_ she replied dejectedly.

"What a sweet girl," Sonya said, taking a breath as she sat on the bed.

Tristan and Dagonet had already departed.

"_Sweet?"_ Lancelot replied incredulously.

Arthur cleared his throat, a clear sign that he wanted Lancelot to leave.

"Ah, yes," Lancelot grinned slyly. "I shall leave you two alone then."

When Arthur closed the door he heard Lancelot say: _"Sweet?" _and scoff.

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For near two quarters of an hour, Ardeth had lectured Raja about keeping certain animals in her room. There had been similar problems with this in Egypt as well. When she was three, she tried to sneak a donkey into their home. The large house which Raja, her parents, and her uncles lived in had more people going about inside, hence her being found out. But in the keep, there were not such cleaning ladies, visitors and family walking about. It was easier to sneak the animals in.

After her uncle was finished talking he confined her to her room with breakfast. Punishing her was always a difficult task. Making her clean did not work – she enjoyed it. Extra studies – she enjoyed it. And making her go without a meal was out of the question, her health came first. So, he took Beauty away in her hay filled basket, and made sure that Piggy the Mouse was out of the room as well. Both animals remained with him in the study.

After she ate her breakfast, she continued to contemplate why her wanting to speak with Anna about her cruelty towards chickens was such a problem. As she lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, she thought about the injustice of it. Plus, no one would even tell her what Anna looked like so she could find her. Then, she thought of the one person who knew where everyone was around here – Tristan. He would help her certainly.

All the excitement of the morning had her dozing before she knew it. Raja awoke in midday, feeling somewhat refreshed. The tray of her eaten food had been taken away, but Beauty and Piggy were still gone. She remembered her idea to ask Tristan to execute his scouting tactics, and bounded out of bed, pulling on her boots and rushing out the door. She wasn't sure if she was allowed to come out of her room yet, so she aimed for her uncle's study first.

"Raja," he lifted his head from missives, and smiled at her. "Sleep well?"

"Yes," she replied. Beauty popped out of her basket and waddled to her, while Piggy crawled up her leg to her shoulder. She greeted both of them affectionately. "Do I have to go back to my room?"

"I suppose not, little one."

Raja beamed and gave him a hug and kiss. She put Beauty back in her basket before she ran off to find Tristan. He probably would have just finished his lunch...then he would go practice or hunting. She hurried to the stables, running into him just as he was walking there.

"You know," he said, "people tend to eat chickens not carry them around in baskets like royalty."

Beauty clucked, and Raja gleamed at Tristan sternly. "That was uncalled for." Piggy came out from her tunic and settled himself on the outside of the garment.

He half-grinned and continued to walk. Raja seemed blind to the passersby gawks at her – a small person carrying a chicken in a basket and a mouse on her head. Tristan gave a withering glance at two young people who started to point and laugh – freezing their gestures of contempt. It was odd, a year ago he would have been walking alone, and people still would have stared, but never with laughter. Their gazes were more a fearful awe as the – surely – hideous rumors about the person he was sped through their minds. Tristan had seen them, but hadn't cared. But now, it was not really him they stared at – but Raja, and that he cared about.

"I was looking for you though," she said, trudging alongside him.

"Hmm?"

"I need your help."

"Okay," he said, agreeing without asking any questions.

"Could you find Anna for me?"

Tristan stopped in his tracks and stared down at her. She looked up at him with such hope and fondness, depending on him – her friend. He stifled the need to take a big, "oh shit" breath. Now he knew what Ardeth felt like. Tristan resumed his pace in silence, knowing that Raja would not ask again, but she was still awaiting his answer.

As they entered the shade of the stables, the smells of hay, horse sweat, and grain invaded their nostrils. Tristan scratched his beard, still trying to come up with a reply. As he got out the grooming implements for Dyne, he asked: "Why is finding her so important to you?"

Odin came over to Raja, nuzzling her head. She put Beauty's basket down. "I just wanted to talk to her."

_About the chickens_, he thought. Why didn't Ardeth just try to explain to her that it wasn't chickens those women were grouping Anna with? He found himself hating to say no to her, because...there was really no good reason for him to decline her favor, something she so rarely asked of him. It was a simple one, and though he did not personally know this Anna, he figured she was a whore and could easily be tracked. For a mere second he debated just telling Raja himself, but if Ardeth hadn't then there must be a good reason for it.

"I'll try to find her," he said.

The look of sheer gratitude on her face sent sparks of warmth to his heart. Still, he would have felt better if she'd asked him to bloody someone instead.

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A few hours later, Tristan knocked on Ardeth's door to his study. A lot of ruminating had happened since Raja asked him for a favor, and though he was still hesitant to speak to Ardeth about it, he felt he had to.

"Come in," the deep Egyptian voice said.

Tristan opened the door, and took a seat the Egyptian had offered. He also accepted the cold ale.

Ardeth waited patiently to hear whatever Tristan had had to say. He knew speeches were not Tristan's strong point, and imagined that knocking on the door had taken much deliberation on his part. Despite all that, the scout was still composed.

"Raja asked me to find Anna for her," Tristan said abruptly, straight to the point.

Ardeth made a rumble of understanding in the back of his throat.

"I said I would try."

He nodded slowly. "Thank you for telling me this. It is a difficult situation," he said.

Tristan heard a note of sorrow in the man's voice.

"Do you understand?" Ardeth asked him, a slight arch and narrowing of his brow moved on his face, his dark eyes boring into Tristan.

Tristan's silence was enough.

"I hesitate to explain to Raja the adequate usage of that word. If not because of her age, but then for the personal knowledge she already has of it. Were it not for that, I believe she could take it in stride; yet, under the circumstances I feel it would do more harm than good. Putting a name to an action makes a memory more potent. Do you understand, Tristan?"

He hated that Ardeth was being cryptic, but he gathered he was doing it for more Raja's sake than any. And perhaps it was not the right time to feel such an emotion, but he felt worthy – worthy to be trusted by such a respected man, especially considering the information he had just divulged.

"I understand," Tristan replied.

The Egyptian nodded reverently.

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Raja was setting up chess pieces in her room. Piggy was lounging on the bed, while Beauty sat comfortably in her basket. She smiled brightly when Tristan appeared in the doorway.

"Do you want to play Chess?"

He walked into the room and sat down across from her. He saw how safe she felt with him, how buoyed by his presence she was. The glitter in her eyes that he saw now, he was glad for. Sometimes those sparkles went away, falling somewhere deep and dark inside of her. Tristan understood that Ardeth knew some day Raja would become familiar with the knowledge she lacked, and sitting in front of her now, he realized that he felt she should not know either. Not today. Not tomorrow. Raja was capable of understanding a lot of things, at times, more things than he did – but this was something he comprehended: knowledge can be dangerous, and already, he knew Raja had too much.

"I talked to Anna," he said.

Raja stopped and waited.

He prepared himself for a semi-truth. "I took care of it."

"Thank you, Trissy!" Raja got up and gave him a fierce hug. "I bet she listened to you better than she would have listened to me!"

He grunted and shrugged.

"I think I'll sleep much better tonight," she said with conviction.

He smiled. "Good."

6/8/07

Meaning:  
Taa'la maei: come with me  
Baedien: later  
Na am fahamt: yes, I understand


End file.
